I have been on a Journey of Faith and Healing because as I travel its paths, I am slowly discovering Who I Am, which I am finding, is directly linked to my deepening faith and trust and re-connection with My True Spirit and God.
Re-Discovering Who I Am
This past year has been a year of personal transformation for me that began with a deep restlessness that led me to become a soul seeker on a Journey of Faith and Healing to Re-discover Who I Am.
I say I am on a journey to Re-discover Who I Am because I came into this world knowing “Who I Am”. However life and its unrealistic expectations of us bury our True Selves and Nature over time. We unknowingly become Stepford Beings of what I Should Be.
Sometimes I have to stop and regroup myself on the Journey of Faith and Healing. There are dark days on the journey when unexpressed emotions of grief and loss that have occurred in my life are just too overwhelming due to fear.
Physically I notice that my breathing becomes shallow and my stomach will ache. I mentally see myself bent over by a deep unresolved inner wound of grief and loss.
When these dark days of grief and loss occur, my mind, body, spirit, and soul work overtime to convince myself to allow the grief and pain to surface, to fully express itself, and to release it to the Universe.
But to allow a pain to surface is just too overwhelming for me when dark days occur.
For then I have to confront a Beast of Wounded Emotions. One of many that I must do battle with on my Journey of Faith and Healing.
A Beast of Wounded Emotions
When I must confront a Beast of Wounded Emotions, especially one I have not dealt with yet, fear overtakes me. A Beast of Wounded Emotions is the people and events that caused a deep emotional pain, the roots of my grief, loss, self-identity and respect.
The Beast Master
As my body, mind, spirit and soul try to push this grief and pain to the surface, I can see and hear myself screaming “No! No!” It is then I become a my own Beast Master, my whip of self-control slashing and snapping in the air as I force the Beast of Wounded Emotions back deep into my soul of souls.
Loss of Personal Power
When I have one of these dark days, I watch indifferently as I willingly give over my personal power to the Beast of Wounded Emotions. These are the days I allow it to define me; it can be easier that way. Or is it? The self-pity parties are not fun or uplifting, they are just walking in place, stuck in time, getting nowhere. And I can feel worse, not better.
Loss of Self and Spiritual Identity
The loss of my own personal power, in and over my life, has been very profound. And each one has to be faced down and released, one at a time. As one becomes healed and released, another appears. But with each victory over a Beast of Wounded Emotion a healing process is taking place that is bringing a more meaningful connection to God.
The Soul within the Soul
Even with dark days, I eventually resume my Journey of Faith and Healing. I am re-connecting to a Spirit that is so deep within me; I call it the Soul within the Soul.
It is here where I find True Healing occurring within me, slowly unblocking my physical and spiritual energy. As my physical and spiritual energy return, I begin to release the stranglehold my Beast of Emotional Wounds has had on me.
My Source of Light and Love
My Soul within My Soul has revealed to me a Source of Light and Love. I have seen, felt and experienced what can only be called True Love, Grace and Healing.
Here I am comforted on my “dark days” as my Journey of Faith and Healing leads me from grief and loss to Joy, Love, Forgiveness and Life.